Monday 22 September 2008

Touch rugby and humanity: Ideal and reality.

Yet another departure from the usual posts about games and the like, but I thought I'd share a personal story here for anyone who might be keen to learn/play touch.

~

For some reason that I have never figured out till today, I had always wanted to learn how to play rugby, but never had the chance to because the schools I went to never offered the sport because they had other sports to focus on: Saint Gabriel's was (is?) traditionally a soccer powerhouse, and Victoria Junior College (VJC) was all about sailing/running/soccer/etc. - everything except rugby.

Although I was to discover otherwise later, because a friend told me that there was actually a touch rugby team in VJ that not many people knew of... Which leads me to my second point: I didn't have any contacts of people who played rugby or who might be able to teach me, until my social network widened with age and the Internet.

How this happened in the case of the former was that university came along. Thankfully, I stayed in a Hall of Residence then, and Touch Rugby was one of the Inter-Hall Games that was played, so the opportunity to learn came from training with the Hall team.

In the case of the latter, I started organsing recreational touch games after learning the basics, so that with every game I played, I could improve, bit by bit.

Nevertheless, I'm sure you can see that the barriers to entry (BTE) to playing touch/rugby are/were engendered socially - if you don't know anyone who plays or don't have access to the sport, you can't learn. I managed to overcome that, but in all truth, the harder BTE to overcome while learning was the attitude of sports people - jocks, if you will.

Because of evolution, people have somehow been socialised to believe in the 'in-group,' and if you're not in one, you're out of it. One of the ways to exclude people is physically, but a more effective (and hurtful) method is socially/emotionally, through snide remarks, derisive comments or just plain rudeness.

Put that in the context of learning touch rugby at the age of 21, and it's easy to tell why playing touch as a newbie was tough for me initially; I had to endure many stupid people and the stupid things they said along the way. This was especially exacerbated by the people I term as jocks, who have the tendency to think that because you were a n00b, and because they have been playing the game for the latter half of their lives and are quite accomplished in terms of skill level, they have the prerogative to lord it over you.

By the way, just some clarifications - I'm not saying that:
  1. All sportspeople are jocks - some sports people can be genuinely nice, but most tend to be extremely obnoxious.
  2. Only sportspeople can be jocks - I've seen this trait manifested in musicians and artists too, and it's equally disgusting.
Nevertheless, I made it through, but I saw others give up because they just didn't want to be a part of the unpleasantness, especially when the unpleasantness was directed at them. I think it's sad and I don't think it should happen - no one should be made to feel like shit just because of someone else.

Hence, I've made it a personal mission of mine, that in all that I do, be it creative writing, academia, music, touch rugby, etc. even if I have a moderately adequate skill level in that area of life, I'm not going to be a jock about it. So again, this is an open offer to anyone and everyone: if you want to learn touch, I'll teach you and make it a pleasant environment for you to learn in.

Because to me, life is much more than winning gold medals; sometimes, it's just about being human(e) and having fun.

The e-mail that inspired this post reproduced (not in its original form) to protect the author's identity:
From: Laremy Lee
Date: September 22, 2008 1:46:41 AM GMT+08:00
To: XXX
Subject: Re: touch

Hi XXX,

No worries, I understand where you're coming from so have made it a personal mission to create a safe and positive environment for people to learn the game. Hopefully the games will carry on through the year, if all goes well. Just drop me a line again when you're back, or check the website for updates. Good luck with your studies!

Thanks,
Laremy
On Sep 19, 2008, at 9:19 PM, XXX wrote:

Hi,

My name is XXX and I am writing in to inquire about the touch games that you and your friends have organised. Just some background info about myself: I used to play touch with a club, but because of my lack of skills and insufficient knowledge of the game, I was pressured into leaving the club. I know that greater exposure to the game will allow me to learn more, so I'd like to ask if the games will still be going on through the year? I'd very much like to join but can only make it towards the end of the year as I'm currently studying abroad.

Thank you.

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